Grumpy Old Men

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So, it’s the morning and I’m shaving the bits on my face where there’s no beard, per se, and I’m using the Mach 3 powered razor by Gillette. I’d just gone out to buy some new blades for this gadget, which had been an impulse – buy, some months earlier. I’d been quite happy with my previous model which had 2 blades as opposed to the original with only one blade. You see, my new current (so I thought) model now has 3 blades, a cool green design and a tiny electric motor which gives you ‘micro pulses’. I’d been feeling pretty good about this unit, despite the outrageous tab for replacement blades of $18.00 some.

Then it happened.

I walk in to the living room and there’s an add on the TV for the NEW Gillette. Yes, this one has a tiny motor, micro pulses, power glide blades, micro fins to follow the contours of your face and so on but, shock horror; it features 5 blades in each disposable, (yes, I said disposable) cartridge. I feel like a complete loser. I’m out of date. I only have 3 blades and now the state of the art razor has FIVE.

Then I got to thinking about my blog a few weeks earlier where I was singing the praises of my trusty 25 year old lawn mower and wondering why do we get suckered in to all this planned obsolescence? Without realizing it, I’m actually a traditionalist; I play 50 year old guitars through on occasion, 30 to 50 year old amps. My cars are all around 10 years old. I like Jeeps and Morgans for their simple design, durability and fixability, and I’ve only lived in old houses (one, as old as 500 years) so why am I getting uptight about this stupid razor? That’s it – I’m not going to buy a Fusion Phenom. I’m sticking with Mach 3 Turbo. Even the names sound stupid. Probably thought up by some 20 something who doesn’t even shave properly.

It’s like this stock market crash we are experiencing. Aren’t all those whiz kid brokers 20 somethings, that fuel themselves on adrenaline and Red Bull before hitting the floors of the burses around the world to play with the hard earned money of people twice their age? What do you mean; Merrill Lynch’s assets are way over valued? Oh that nice semi detached house you finally traded up to in London is now NOT worth the cool £1000,000 you thought it was? Apparently all these assets of AIG, Lehman and so on are simply not worth anything like what we thought they were and furthermore, there’s no takers for this stuff anyway unless Uncle Sam steps in and subsidizes/ guarantees the purchase.

Call me a curmudgeon, but the Western world seems a little bonkers this week, off kilter. It’s time to do what the Japanese have started to do in the government; stop following the more - is - best doctrine and look to the valuable sides of our culture, which don’t actually have a dollar value but are worth way more to the kids of the next generation.

Hopefully the pendulum will start to swing back the other way once we realize the Error of our Ways! Having been in the same ‘job’ for 40 years, I think back to when I tried to apply for a bank loan from my local branch only to be turned down on the grounds that I was embarking on a risky career – the music business. Kinda makes you think when those same banks now try to lure in youngsters with pictures of punk rockers and then the next minute there are images on CNN of once cool , Merrill employees turfed out on the side walks of Manhattan with the contents of their desks in sad old cardboard boxes. I’m not feeling smug. The reverse, actually. It’s mind boggling but kinda predictable. It’s tough bringing kids into the world where contrary to common sense, it seems, that you have to try and explain that you are only deemed wealthy in this world if you have nothing in the bank but are a big borrower with a 700 plus credit score. Stop the world. What do I know?

~ A.P.