I spoke the woman on reception (commonly called the receptionist I believe.) She was nice and we had a little chat. She even gave me her number! It's 0.
She told me there was an Italian down the road (restaurant, not person) so I headed out. After 10 mins of walking I got a text from Bob saying he'd be in the lobby in 15 mins. I decided I wasn't really interested in sitting in a restaurant on my own and instead opted to get some food from the shop I'd just arrived at.
I wandered around looking for some ready made stuff but they had nothing. I mooched up and down the aisles for a good 5 mins and the only thing I'd managed to decide on was a massive bar of chocolate. It contained orange fondant so I figured that was one of my 5-a-day but I didn't think it was going to provide all the nourishment I needed on its own.
I finally settled on a big tub of blueberry yoghurt, 4 bananas and a box of kiwi fruits. I was cleverly planning ahead - I knew I'd seen coffee mugs in my room so I figured I could use the teaspoon to eat the yoghurt and the kiwis.
I went back to my room with my swag only to find that there were no teaspoons - only little plastic stirrers. Now, previously on tour I've managed to eat an entire rhubarb pie with a wooden lolly stick (that was the only tool I could find). It wasn't easy but it was doable. I didn't fancy the plastic stirrer as much of a tool for any job (honestly, to me it doesn't even look like it would stir)
I borrowed a bowl and spoon from the restaurant for the yoghurt and banana. Forgot to ask for a teaspoon and couldn't be bothered to go back. I figured the kiwis hadn't been expensive and I could do without them. After all, I'd need a knife and a teaspoon to eat them in my usual way.
Someone once told me you can eat the whole thing. I tried it for a while but I'm not a big fan of hairy food.
After writing the previous blog about the uselessness of the "fall asleep card" I realised that I could probably use that to slice the kiwis. Slice them into quarters and they'd be easy to bite into. Genius! I felt like Ray Mears. I could just imagine him out in the dessert having found a kiwi fruit but having no way to get inside it in a neat way. Then he remembers the "fall asleep card"....maybe not.
You'll be glad to know it worked. It's 3:24pm and I haven't left my room today. Even having eaten a bowl of yoghurt, 2 bananas and 4 kiwis (the fruit, not the people) I'm still starving but too lazy to walk to the shop for more chocolate.
I'm sure when people ask me what I do for a living and I say "I tour with a rock band" they don't imagine these finer points of the lifestyle.
J
